This blog is inspired by a young, beautiful woman who came to my Pelvic Floor Exercises & Strategies Course determined to shake the negative feelings towards her base which were built up over her medical journey.
It is indeed important to feel comfortable in one’s body. It is a much more blissful way to live. There is less to worry about, less hang-ups, and more to enjoy about ourselves – and goodness knows we all need more of that. If you love your body, you are more likely to take great care of it and happily use it for joy and pleasure, such as exercise and sex.
Some women naturally enjoy positive feelings about their body. But for most women, loving the entire creation is a tough gig. Somewhere between the head and the toes, most women find at least one bit that they’re not happy about. For many, the rejected, unloved, cringeworthy bit is the pelvic floor, especially if it is leaky, painful, falling apart, or associated with a negative experience: for example, a birth injury, surgery, or sexual abuse.
Here are my top three tips to help you love your pelvic floor, whatever its flaws:
Accept Your Intimate Zone
Many women feel unhappy with the appearance of their vulva. This is supported by the fact that cosmetic surgery in this region is one of the fastest growing trends. How you look down there is unique to you. Your skin colour, freckles, plumpness or bulginess reflect generations of your ancestors. Your scars speak of your history. If you are on a quest to love your intimate zone, don’t put off working toward accepting and embracing what you have at this very moment. Maybe you can start by having a closer look with a handheld mirror.
Appreciate Your Base
Accepting your intimate zone is a positive step toward loving your bits, but let’s progress toward appreciation. This step requires a little digging (not literally):
• What are the things your pelvic floor does well?
• How has your pelvic floor served you in your life?
You may not feel like celebrating every aspect of your base. However, by being grateful for what it does, you may, in time, feel more and more positive about it.
Forgive Your Pelvic Floor
You may never have liked your undercarriage, or you may have liked it until you had a negative experience or until it changed: for example, due to childbirth. It may give you grief when it leaks, prolapses, or causes you pain. Thinking of your pelvic floor may induce feelings of betrayal, disgust, sadness, frustration or anger. If you can forgive your pelvic floor for not being “perfect,” you may begin to feel more accepting of it. The following tips may also help:
- Speak and think about your pelvic floor only in positive terms.
- Call it by its proper name e.g.: vulva, vagina, clitoris.
- Dress it in pretty underwear.
- Engage in a sensual activity that helps you focus on your pelvic floor’s ability for pleasure.
- Exercise your pelvic floor muscles, and take conscious steps to protect them during your activities.
- Consider joining my course!
- Seek further assistance to restore or manage dysfunction if needed.
You don’t have a choice about how your intimate zone looks, but you do have a choice about how you perceive it and how it affects you.
Consider the following quote from Salma Hayek:
“People often say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder.”
Choose to behold yourself: Your bits are lovely just the way they are.
I can help
If you have any questions I would love to hear from you. I promise to get back to you as soon as humanly possible.